


Ten Years

by Coby_Thinks



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotions, Gen, JJ is kindof a jerk, Look I haven't written for CM very much, Luke is just a 'good friend', So this isn't great, Spencer is getting better at dealing with emotions, and nothing you say can stop that, and yeah I'm pissed they tried to make Jeid cannon after so long, anyway, because everything is gay, enjoy this i guess, if I kept writing this they would have fallen in gay love, just kidding lmao, shut up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:34:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27148097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coby_Thinks/pseuds/Coby_Thinks
Summary: Ten years ago, this would be a very different story. He’d probably have done anything to hear her say she loved him romantically. Actually, ten years ago his self-esteem had been so low he would have been shocked to hear anyone held attraction to him. But that was ten years ago.This is just a short little thing I'm still not used to writing for CM lmaooo but I'll probably post a few more eventually.Enjoy this, it's the least angsty thing I've ever written.
Relationships: Jennifer "JJ" Jareau & Spencer Reid, Luke Alvez & Spencer Reid
Comments: 6
Kudos: 24





	Ten Years

Spencer really didn’t know what to do in this situation. Sure, that happened a lot with social things and relationships, but this was on a whole new level. 

He watched idly from across the room as JJ danced with Will, unable to shake the deep hurt he felt at the circumstances. He wasn’t jealous - no, he’d gotten over JJ years and years ago. Before she’d even started dating Will. No, he was hurt that after all this time - after ten years - JJ thought that she could tell Spencer something like that and she actually expected some kind of reaction.

What on earth was he supposed to tell her, really? It was ridiculous. After everything they’d gone through - after she’d made it clear they were platonic and he’d accepted that and now held no romantic attraction toward her - she wanted him to go back on that. 

Ten years ago, this would be a very different story. He’d probably have done anything to hear her say she loved him romantically. Actually, ten years ago his self-esteem had been so low he would have been shocked to hear anyone held attraction to him. But that was ten years ago.

JJ was married. She had two kids, and she was happy. Spencer was over her - he’d actually been in a relationship or two now. He knew love wasn’t just something he might receive, but it was something he deserved as a human being. Spencer was perfectly happy with being JJ’s best friend, the godfather to her children. 

Spencer sighed, shaking his head slightly as he surveyed the room. It was a happy occasion, and he was so insanely happy for David and Krystall. The deep ache of… what even was it? Annoyance? Anger? Guilt? He felt so many things about what JJ had said - how she’d been acting all night. He was definitely annoyed. Definitely hurt. Not angry, he wasn’t willing to hold a grudge against her again. 

Whatever it was he felt, he could try his best to ignore that for the rest of the night. He was good at ignoring his feelings, even if he knew it wasn’t a good idea. But tonight… tonight wasn’t about him. Tonight was about his friends, his family. He would deal with these emotions later - maybe in a few days.

He just hoped JJ got the memo soon enough.

* * *

His mother thought he still had feelings for JJ. He’d correct her, but she gave such heartfelt advice and talked Spencer through a problem he didn’t actually have so well… he didn’t have the heart to do it. Time with his mother - time like this - was something Spencer was going to treasure for as long as he could. So, he let his mother guide him through letting go. Choosing a different life, where he didn’t wait for JJ. 

Not to say the talk didn’t help. They spoke of other things, like what Spencer wanted to be and what he wanted to do with his life. 

The world was so cruel, to bury his mother's heart and soul in layers of mental illness. She deserved everything, but she’d be gone before he could prove that to her.

Spencer hadn’t thought he’d need to talk to JJ about it again. At the wedding, he’d tried to make it clear that this wasn’t going anywhere.

Apparently, JJ didn’t pick up on that.

“Jennifer,” Spencer said, catching up to her at the elevator after a case. A case where JJ continuously did… whatever the heck it was that she’d been doing. Acting like she’d once acted with Will. It was uncomfortable. 

“Spence? You okay?” JJ’s eyebrows creased in concern, and she put a hand on his arm. Spencer stepped back, frowning seriously. “What’s going on?”

“You need to stop,” Spencer said, stepping into the elevator with her. “I don’t really know how to say this without coming across as rude, but I don’t love you like that.”

“Like…” JJ hesitated. “Like what?”

“I’ve been a profiler longer than you have, Jayje.” Spencer rolled his eyes. “I know you know what I’m talking about.”

“I know it won’t go anywhere, Spence. But why can’t-”

“Because I asked you to stop.” Spencer snapped, rubbing his eyes with a grimace. “Look. I love you like a sister, JJ. We’re best friends, and I don’t want that to end. But if you keep doing this… flirting thing or whatever it is, it will. It’ll end because I don’t want to have to deal with this anymore.”

“Spencer, I’m sorry,” JJ said quietly. “I had no idea it was making you feel uncomfortable. I thought you felt the same way, and I-”

“I did,” Spencer muttered. JJ frowned. “Ten years ago, Jayje. Do you know how much has happened in ten years?”

“A lot.”

“Yeah, a lot. You’re different, I’m different, and this isn’t going to be a thing. Okay?”

“Yeah, yeah okay.” JJ brushed hair behind her ear as the elevator doors opened, and they walked out - JJ toward the parking garage and Spencer turning toward the metro station. “I’m sorry, Spence.”

“Yeah, I know you are.” Spencer held out an arm for a gentle side-hug, and JJ leaned into his shoulder for a few seconds before heading off. Spencer watched her go, shaking his head at the mingling pain in his heart. It would go away soon, he was just still frustrated. 

“Whoa, everything okay Reid?” Luke’s voice surprised him, and Reid turned to see him exiting the staircase. “JJ okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, everything’s fine.” Spencer knew the lie was obvious, and Luke raised an eyebrow. 

“Wanna talk about it?”

“I…” Spencer laughed, shaking his head. “I probably should. With someone, at least.”

“I’m all ears,” Luke offered. “We can head to my place and order Thai. Roxy would love a new person to cover in fur.”

“I bet she would.” Spencer smiled, shrugging. “Sure, why not? Not like I have anything else to do.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Luke clapped him on the shoulder. “I get it, you’re all melancholy and angsty nowadays.”

“Wh- I am not!” 

“If you ask anyone on the team, they’ll agree with me.” Luke insisted. Spencer rolled his eyes. 

“Don’t make me regret being friends with you.”

“Get in the car and start talking about what’s wrong, and maybe I’ll shut up.” Luke shot back. Spencer scowled but slid into the passenger seat anyway. He really needed friends that weren’t profilers.

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts? Do you want me to write more for Criminal Minds? Do you not care? Just yeet something into the comments so I can feel like I make a difference in the world idk
> 
> Love you all,  
> -Coby


End file.
